Song Lyrics
Pete The Polymorpher

Pete The Polymorpher

By
Dan Marcotte

Refrain

Down Down Derry, it’s the Unicorn and Fairy

and the Giant and the Dragon and the Hippogriff song!

1. This is the song about Pete the Polymorpher,

Lived with his wife and their five little daughters. (Refrain)

2. Each of the girls was born a year apart,

On the very same day, September twenty-fourth. (Refrain)

3. On the day the girls turned five through ten,*

This was the birthday Pete had forgotten. (Refrain)

4. “I’m so sorry girls,” said Pete apologizing,

“Tell me what you want, I’ll get you anything!” (Refrain)

5. “I want a unicorn!” the oldest said.

Pete the Polymorpher wished he was dead! (Refrain)

6. Pete’s wife said, “Pete now you’ve gone and done it.

“If you don’t find a unicorn she’ll throw the biggest fit!” (Refrain)

7. Pete looked around and was suddenly inspired,

Saw the family dog a sleeping by the fire. (Refrain)

8. He polymorphed the dog into a unicorn,

White as snow with a shiny golden horn! (Refrain)

9. The next daughter said, “I want a fairy princess!”

“Don’t worry sweetheart! I’ll do my best!” (Refrain)

10. He polymorphed the unicorn into a fairy,

Little wings flapped and she ate all their berries! (Refrain)

11. The next daughter said, “It’s my turn now!

“I want a giant, I don’t care how!” (Refrain)

12. He polymorphed the fairy into a giant,

Broke through the roof and he had no pants... (Refrain)

13. The next daughter said, “I really want a dragon,

“To pull me around in my little wooden wagon.” (Refrain)

14. He polymorphed the giant into a dragon,

Belched and he burped and he burned down her wagon. (Refrain)

15. Pete asked the youngest what could be her gift.

She said, “I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really,

really, really want a hippogriff!” (Refrain)

16. He polymorphed the dragon into a hippogriff,

Now each daughter had gotten a gift. (Refrain)

17. Pete’s wife said, “This is getting out of hand!

“Bring back our dog or the song will never end!” (Refrain)

18. He polymorphed the hippogriff to the dog once more,

“Oops! Oh no!” cried Pete the Polymorpher. (Refrain)

19. Pete’s wife was aghast and agog!

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THE FAMILY DOG?!” (Refrain)

20. The dog had wings and scales and horn.

It was a giant fairi-drago-griffa-corn! (Refrain)

21. The dog didn’t mind the girls were delighted.

The birthday was saved and all that’s wrong was righted. (Refrain)

22. So if you’ve a daughter, her birthday don’t forget!

She’ll want a fairi-drago-griffa-corn pet! (Refrain)

*Okay. It’s technically five daughters, ages six through ten. Thank you all for the many emails correctifying my bardic approach to math. -Dan the Bard