Song Lyrics
Harpy The Harpy

Harpy The HArpy

By
Dan Marcotte

Refrain

Harpy, the Harpy too ri diddly HP

Harpy the Harpy too ri diddly AC!

1. Harpy, the harpy so misunderstood,

Until today we all did say she'd never do us good!

But now she has a column, and not the kind from Greece,

Ask her now, the why's and how's of all your brave pc's! (Refrain)

2. Are you the kind of player, who likes to have romance?

But in the world of your campaign, you never get your chance?

Who knows the hearts of npc's as well as Harpy does?

She'll tell you true just what to do she's your friend because... (Refrain)

3. You dungeon masters brave and bold might have a problem too!

Is PC flirting getting old? What ever should you do?

Harpy's here, don't make her shout, don't hide behind your screen!

Ask her now, she'll help you with hormonal LARPing teens! (Refrain)

4. And anything else you think of as you roll the dice to date,

Reactions based on randomness leave too much up to fate!

For when she takes a break from ripping man-flesh off the bone,

Advice she'll surely give you some, by email, not by phone...

"Hello? Harpy? I have a question about this half-celestial

drow werefox I wanted to ask out..."

"RAREAARGGHHHH!"

"My bad. I’ll email!" (Refrain)