Song Lyrics
Fred The Ranger

Fred The Ranger

By
Dan Marcotte

1. Fred the Ranger of the wood, did the best that he ere could

To keep the forests safe and well, nasty monsters he did quell.

When Fred was young he learned the trade of forest animal first aid,

He loved the woods he loved his work, but most f all he hated orcs!

He hated orcs with passion fierce and sought them ere their hearts to pierce,

Their throats to choke and legs to break, he liked to drown them in the lake.

Rangers love the wood so green, but keep their swords and axes keen

For monsters whom they hate the most, great hatred for them they will boast!

La la la, etc...

2. When Fred was older he did find, that he could choose more than one kind

Of monster in the forest glen, so he chose the giant-kin.

He found this fun and challenging to slice a giant’s hammy-strings,

Dancing on their chests with grace, while twanging arrows in their face.

He loved to trick an ogre so, to chase him down a grassy row,

To fall into the traps he made, pits with spikes and poison blades.

He loved to set a troll a fire and use the corpse’s burning pyre,

Marshmallows and meat to roast, these were the monsters he hated most!

La la la, etc...

3. Now Fred’s retired from his work, still hating giant-kin and orcs,

But lately thought of one more foe, for which he’d seek some toe to toe.

Why he chose undead to hate, we’ll never know, he tempted fate,

He lured a Lich into the woods, and drew his swords and valiantly stood!

The Lich amused released a smile, and summoned magic dark and vile,

Blasted Fred with a meteor swarm, alas and alack, Fred is no more!

If ye be a ranger skilled, please listen well for Fred was killed!

If your choice of foe is a lich, life will soon be a sonova-

La la la etc...